Primary Colors
by LLF
Summary: A Luby love story....prior to 'A Human Shield'....and the little girl that changed their lives forever.
1. Chapter 1

_This was written for as a one shot for a fanfic challenge. I think I want to carry it further. I do not own the characters of Abby and Luka or the 'ER' scenario. Warner Bros and Crichton Television does...lucky ducks. I just borrow them on occasion for writing purposes._

The Lava Lounge. She came here when she was feeling sad...or wanted to feel sad. It was a dorky place with a dorky theme and dorky drinks and dorky employees. What other kind of people would wear the kind of clothes they wore in Chicago? Straw hats and luau garb...in Chicago in the last dregs of a cold winter. It was supposed to be spring. And unfortunately these people were beginning to know her name. To be familiar with her as well. And it made her sad. She had been coming here way too much. To be sad.

It was her history here that made her be sad. Susan had brought her here for the first time...after they found out that Mark Greene had died. It was the first time she had actually gotten drunk in a very, very long time. She had been fooling herself before that. She told Carter that she could handle the alcohol. That she could go out and have an occasional drink with her friends and not go overboard. But it had been too easy to slip over that line and into oblivion again. Because she had been sad. Mark Greene had died. That was her excuse that night.

But what was her excuse now? Loneliness? She hadn't heard from her mother or her brother in months. Maggie was just a phone call away but Abby resented the fact that she was the one who needed to make that call most of the time. Susan was gone. Just like that. Carter was gone. Off chasing Kem and some...thing...he was searching for in the African desert or jungle. He hadn't found it with her. But let's face it...she hadn't found it with him either. Neela was busy with her surgical rotation. They rarely saw one another any more. Passing each other at the hospital. Always with a word. A meaningful word really...but far too few and far too apart to keep her from being lonely. Luka was still around. More than around. They were friends. They were...

"Hey..." She looked up when she heard a familiar voice. "Shall I join you?" Her vision cleared in the dim light of the Lava Lounge and she saw him. He held a beer bottle in his hand and was smiling...kind of grimly.

"Can I sit here?" he asked indicating the empty spot in her corner booth. She'd chosen it because it gave her a clear view of the Lava Lounge and made it easy to keep unwanted attention from any of it's dorky patrons. How had she not seen him come in? She glanced at the big glass in front of her with it's remaining fruity froth and paper umbrella. Damn. Was she on her yellow drink all ready?

"Abby?" She looked up at him again and smiled. Luka slid into the booth, set his bottle down on the table and sighed. There was a smile on his face but his eyes were doing something else. He picked up his bottle and took a drink. He tipped the bottle toward her empty glass as he set it down again.

"What are you drinking?" She frowned and looked at the glass. She picked it up and took a sniff.

"You know..." she said. "I'm not really sure? I asked for something in yellow."

Luka frowned with a grin.

"What?" She just laughed and pushed the glass toward him.

"It's a primary color. I drink my way through all of them," she explained. "Something red? A strawberry daiquiri. That was good tonight...had two of those. Something green? I'm not sure but it had creme d'menthe in it...and this? This is something yellow. It was this or a Lemondrop and I wasn't into sour tonight." She sniffed the glass again and laughed as she poked herself in the eye with the end of the paper umbrella. A laugh that quickly escalated and then waned when she realized that he wasn't joining her. He was too serious. Too grim. She composed herself and gazed at him, trying to match his solemn demeanor.

"Come on, Dr. Kovac," she said as she leaned toward him like conspirators. "You really have to lighten up a bit. Can't be so serious in this place. Let's try something..." She studied the drink menu in front of her. "Maybe...blue! That's the color I forgot. Green isn't a primary color. Oops...my mistake." He lifted his bottle and took another sip as his eyes never left her face. She frowned.

"What's the matter Dr. ER Attending?" she asked as she looked around. "Surprised to find one of your residents here?"

"I think you need to go home now," he said as he set his empty beer bottle on the table.

"No...no...no...no...no..." she shook her head as he stood up. "I have to fix this. I have to drink something blue." Luka chuckled and picked up her hand. He tugged and she grimaced as she moved out of the booth and tried to stand up. She giggled as he helped her to his feet and guided...no...half carried her to the door. He nodded at the bar tender as she waved to him.

She chattered happily away as Luka buckled her into the front seat of his car and then headed through the darkened city streets toward her apartment building. She grew silent as he pulled the car to the curb and stopped. She looked out the window at the steps leading up to the apartment where she lived. It was too dark in there. Too lonely. Too sad. Luka opened his door and then stopped when she put her hand on his arm.

"I can't go in there," she said. "Not tonight." He studied her face in the light from the street lamps for a long moment and then nodded. He shut his door and then looked out the mirrors as he waited to pull the car into the sparse night time traffic. This time she was quiet during the drive. She studied him as he drove. He parked his car on the street and came around to her side and opened the door. He smiled and helped her up the steps, never taking his arm away as he maneuvered through the keys on his key ring to find his door key. He opened the door and turned on the switch for the lights in the livingroom. He guided her down the small set of steps and left her in the middle of the room. Abby stood wearily next to the couch as he disappeared for a moment and came back with a pillow, a blanket and one of his tee shirts. He handed the shirt to her and then spread the blanket on the couch. She had stood there stupidly with the tee shirt in her hands, watching him. Luka grimaced a bit when he saw her not moving. He slipped her jacket off her shoulders and then proceeded to unbutton the shirt she wore. Her eyes never left his face as he slipped the shirt from her shoulders and unfastened her bra. He pulled the tee shirt over her head, pulled the bra out from underneath and then carefully unfastened the clasp on her jeans.

"How did you know where I was?" she asked quietly. Luka shrugged as he sat her on the couch and slipped her shoes off.

"I saw the number on your cab and called the cab company," he said as he lined her shoes up together next to the couch and then slipped her jeans off. He tossed them into the pile of clothes on the coffee table. "I told them there was an emergency at the hospital and I needed to get a hold of you right away." He nodded toward the stairs.

"There's another bed up there but I don't think you want to climb any more stairs tonight," he said. "Sleep here and call out if you need anything." She nodded and watched him go up the stairs to his room. He stopped and smiled at her and then disappeared. Abby sighed and pulled the warm blanket over her as she settled back in the pillow on the couch. What in the world was she doing here? She closed her eyes and drifted into an exhausted sleep.

Luka stood in the door of his bedroom and took a deep breath. Just what in the world was he doing? He would have loved to have carried her up the stairs and deposited her in the middle of his big empty bed. He could have done that. He would have loved to just hold her close to him all night. Would have loved the feel of her skin against his again. Would have loved having his cheek resting on her silky hair spread across his pillow. And she probably would have let him, too, given the state she was in. And that's why he couldn't do it.

They were friends now...he and Abby. It had taken them a long time to get back to this place. They had both been with others. Both had been hurt. But they were friends and he just could not risk losing that again. Being able to talk to her...to tease her...to share problems with her...was just too damn important. She was too damn important. That's why he had watched her leave and called the cab company. He knew she was drinking again. Never on a night before she had a shift though. But he knew there were other nights. He just knew it.

Damn. The thought of her sleeping on his couch downstairs was going to keep him up all night long. He slammed his hands flat against the door jamb in frustration and then headed into his bathroom for a shower. A stone cold shower.

Her nose woke her up. She was warm and snug wrapped in the comforter and had pulled it up over her head during the night. Somewhere there was a coffee pot brewing...and bread toasting. It smelled so good...and then suddenly not so good. She opened her eyes slowly and took careful stock of her person. The feet and the legs were fine. No cramping there. Her shoulders and arms were a little stiff but seemed to be okay. It was her stomach...and her head. She kept her eyes squeezed shut and carefully peeled the comforter back from her head. The smells swept over her like a rolling tide and suddenly she very, very nauseous. She closed her eyes again and tried to still the rolling in her stomach. She knew she was at Luka's place and she knew the bathroom was at the top of a high flight of stairs. There was no possibility she would be able to navigate that without falling or without losing the contents of her stomach first. No. Her only chance was to lie still and wait for it to pass.

"Good morning..." She kind of...felt...him sitting on the coffee table near her head. Abby opened her eyes slowly and groaned quietly as the light screamed into her eyes and painfully pierced her brain. Luka nudged her again. She peered at the tablets he was holding out in one hand and barely made out the small glass of water in the other.

"What's this?" she asked as she pulled herself carefully up the pillow and reclined on the couch armrest.

"Aspirin...vitamin C...B-complex..." She squeezed her eyes shut again and then reached for the tablets. She let them sit on her hairy feeling tongue for a moment and then took the glass of water he gave her. She gulped it down quickly and washed the pills down with it. Big mistake. Her stomach rolled again. She slumped back onto the couch and tried to relax against the warm leather. Luka nudged her arm and she wrapped it around the plastic bucket he handed her. So thoughtful. Damn him. She tried to relax but the pounding in her head was getting more and more worrisome. She needed to go back to sleep. She needed to sleep this off...just like she always did. Somewhere in the apartment a blender whirred and it was like fingernails on a chalkboard. It scraped against her nerves and sent irritating waves pulsating through her entire being. Then it stopped. There he was again. She opened her eyes. This time he was holding a glass with some thick, putrid colored liquid. Not exactly one of the primary colors.

"Is this some creepy Croatian concoction?" she snapped. Luka snickered.

"No..." he scoffed. "Just a breakfast...smoothie. Drink it. You'll feel better." She finally managed to open her eyes and gazed at the glass in distrust. He peeled her weakened hand off the bucket in her lap and wrapped her fingers around the glass. She sniffed it and then took a sip. It wasn't bad.

"What's in this?" she asked as she swallowed more.

"A banana...strawberries... a little honey...orange juice...tomato juice...a little milk...things you nee..." he said. Abby suddenly turned a bit green and he grabbed the glass from her just as she vomited into the bucket. She waved him away as she gagged again and Luka couldn't help smiling as he went to the kitchen for a cold cloth and the ice pack he had filled. He refilled the glass from the blender and headed back to the couch. Her face was white and her eyes closed as he took the bucket from her. He put the cool cloth on her forehead and she startled a bit and then used it to wipe her mouth. He set the glass on the coffee table and carefully settled the ice pack on her head. Abby's eyes opened and she smiled up at him gratefully.

"I need to go back to sleep for a bit, Luka," she said. "Is that okay?"

"I'm going to take care of the bucket and then do some reading," he said. "Ill be right here if you need anything."

"No..." she murmured as she drifted off. "Leave the bucket. I'll take care of it." Luka chuckled and waited a moment until she was asleep. He bent down and pressed a gentle kiss to her cold forehead, adjusted the ice pack and then picked up the bucket.

It was late afternoon when she woke again. She could tell by the light coming in the blinds. She sat up on the couch and looked around. There was a stack of medical journals on the floor next to his chair. The table was set for two. She stood up and pulled her jeans on again and then stopped to press a hand to her aching forehead. Oh god...what had she done? She carefully folded the blanket and stacked in on top of the pillow. Taken advantage of his generosity again. Nice going.

"Hey...you're finally awake," he said as he came down the staircase. He was barefoot and there was a towel around his neck. His hair was damp. "Feel like something to eat?" He gestured toward the table. "I made a salad and there's left over steak or chicken to put on top." He had that irresistible cock eyed grin on his face. He thought for a moment and then nodded. He pulled a chair out from the table for her.

"I need to uh...um..." she pointed up the stairs. He nodded and tossed the towel to her.

"Take that up for me?" he asked. "You can take a shower if you like. Lots of hot water left." She nodded and then picked up the shirt and bra that were folded neatly on the coffee table. She watched him curiously as she went up the stair case.

He had sliced leftover steak into thin pieces and had them on a plate to add to their salad. She was glad he had already started when she came down from her shower. Didn't want this to be taken as any more than it was. She pulled a chair out and he filled her glass with juice from an icy carafe.

"All I have is apple juice," he said. "Sorry." She shrugged and sat down. The salad looked wonderful and she realized that she hadn't eaten since lunch the day before. Peanuts at the Lava Lounge didn't count.

"I should thank you for rescuing me last night," she said as she took some of the steak slivers from the dish he pushed toward her.

"You didn't need rescuing," he said quietly. "That bar tender said he has put you in a cab before." Abby's eyes widened.

"He told you that?" she gasped. "Remind me not to give him such a big tip next time."

"Naw..." Luka chuckled. "You should. He made me show him my ID when I said I was taking you home." They ate in companionable silence for a while and she just enjoyed the food.

"No lectures?" she said finally.

"About what?"

"Um...drinking alone...drinking with friends...drinking with non-friends...just drinking?" Luka lined his fork neatly on the table with his spoon and knife. He took a drink from his glass of apple juice.

"I can't lecture anyone about something like that," he said finally. "You make your own choices." Abby gazed at him for a long moment and then shrugged.

"So what did you do today anyway?" she asked. "And what's with the tile in your shower?? You'd just gotten out and the floor was freezing!" Luka's face reddened a little.

"I got caught up on some medical journals..." he said. "Watched you sleep."

"Did I drool?" she asked with a laugh. He shook his head.

"Just snored."

"I do not snore!" she protested. Luka covered his head with his hands and laughed.

"Oh...yes, you do..." he said. Abby grinned and bent back to her salad as Luka folded his arms across his chest and watched her with a smile.

Later, after he'd driven her home, she opened the door to her apartment and rifled through the mail in her hand. She dropped it all on the table by the door and sighed heavily. She leaned back against the door and glanced around.

Choices. Her choice. Abby narrowed her eyes a bit and then swallowed. She sighed and adjusted the shoulder strap of her bag on her shoulder and opened the door again. She hadn't been in a long while but she knew where there was a meeting starting soon. She just might make it on time.

Luka was sorting through the things in his clothes hamper when he came across the damp towel she'd used to dry her hair. She'd chosen one of the shampoos Sam had left behind. He'd meant to put them in a bag and take them to her at work. Now he was glad he hadn't. He could smell the flowery scent on the damp towel. He grinned when he realized what he was doing and chuckled as he shook his head. He was behaving like a kid again...a randy teenager.

Somewhere, in another house a long way away, a little girl was curled up in a chair with a coloring book. She chose three crayons...a red one...a blue one...and a yellow one. Primary colors. She smiled as she used them to color the picture in front of her. She was blissfully unaware of how coming events in her young life would forever affect the lives of two others. She glanced up at the stuffed dog balanced on the back of the chair and turned her head when her mother came to her bedroom door.

"Come on, honey," her mother said. "Daddy and I need some help cleaning out the camper if we want to use it this summer." Sydney nodded and frowned as she dropped her crayons to the floor. She reached down to pick them up and tossed them onto her bed. She grabbed her dog and followed her mother.


	2. Chapter 2

_An explaination: The first chapter of this story was written for a fan fic challenge. That means that it had action/character boundaries set by that challenge. I have had to jiggle a few time lines and events that did not actually take place during season 12. But that is my right as a fan fiction writer. If the inconsistencies bother you… don't read it. Once again, I do not own any of the characters from 'ER'. I just borrow them on occasion._

Damn but he was proud of her. Luka adjusted the tie under the color of his blue shirt. He slipped his arms into his jacket and slipped his keys into the pocket. A slight smile teased the corners of his mouth as he thought about his day. She had blatantly disobeyed his orders. Flat out disobeyed him. A resident following her gut feeling. Abby was well on her way to becoming a doctor he would trust with his own life. He'd known she would be that way. He should have known from the very first time he'd worked with her. Carol had been here then. They had cornered Abby to help them with a Munchausen's mom and she had come through for them without question. On her first day of her first ER rotation. He should have had an inkling then about what kind of doctor she would be. But no, he was caught up futile infatuation for Carol Hathaway. Carol. Sam. A few others that really meant nothing to him. And Abby. Always Abby. She was pulling herself together okay it seemed. Something had happened after the other night. She seemed happier these days….more content. Confident. It was nice to see that again. He wished he felt it himself.

Luka opened the door and headed out of the lounge. He ducked his head as Sam hurried by compressing the air bag of a patient as Pratt barked out orders. Their eyes had barely met. He didn't know where she was living. Alex had said it was closer to the hospital. He missed them. He missed the noise and the confusion of having others in the apartment. It was too quiet there.

He was at the triage desk. There was a smile on her face as she watched a transport aide wheel a kid down toward the elevators. The smile stayed as she saw him.

"Dr. Kovac," she said as he headed toward her. Her arms were crossed against her chest and she was leaning back in that funny way she had with her hips thrust slightly forward.

"Dr. Lockhart?" he replied. Abby leaned across the desk.

"What would you say if I told you that a couple of ten year olds just told me that I was a 'DILF'?"

"A what?" Her brown eyes sparkled as she leaned closer to explain.

"A MILF is a 'mother I'd like to…' uh….." Luka frowned for a second and then he lifted his head in startled recognition. He'd seen that movie.

"So…when I said I wasn't a mother but a doctor…."

" A DILF….." he grinned. Abby chuckled and nodded.

"The mall kid?" he asked as he glanced toward the closing elevator doors. "He doing okay?" Abby nodded as her eyes searched his face. Luka was chuckling as he glanced back toward her.

"I must be on a roll," she said. "That's the third smile I've managed to coax from you today." Luka blushed and frowned at her playfully.

"I'm going to get something for dinner before I go home," he said. "Wanna come?"

"I'm still on for a couple of hours," she said. "And I have records to go over. Our new nurse manager has been riding herd on all of the interns to make sure we do them with extra precision."

"Sorry," he said. She shrugged with a smile.

"Can't really blame her," she sighed. "I have been in her shoes." Luka nodded. They exchanged smiles again and she watched him as he left through the ambulance bay doors. She wished she could have gone with him. She understood loneliness and he was definitely that.

Abby pulled out a stack of files and headed toward the lounge. She dropped onto the couch and set the stack of files on the table in front of her. Hard to contemplate the task in front of her when her mind was on Luka. He had been a good friend. A caring friend. Kind of hard to see him unhappy himself. She leaned back on the red couch cushion and smiled a little when she thought about the look on his face earlier….when she had thanked him for 'admitting' that he had been the reason they hadn't worked out. 'No problem…" he had said with a grin. And why hadn't they worked out? The cards never seemed to be in place for them. The timing was never right. She sighed and opened the top file to flip through the lab orders that had been stapled inside. Might as well get the job done. She had worked her way quickly through half the files when Lily stuck her head in the door.

"Trauma coming in, Abby," she said. "ETA is three minutes. Want it?" Abby gathered up the files and stood up. Just a couple more hours and she'd have the weekend free.

The bedroom was yellow. Everything was yellow. Sydney giggled as she buried her head under the yellow patchwork quilt that covered her bed. Her laugh rolled out from under it as her mother reached in to tickle her.

"Stop! Stop!" she chortled and squirmed under the covers. "Mom…." The giggles subsided and she folded the bedcovers away from her face with a single sweep of her arms,

"Love you, baby," her mother said as she leaned forward to kiss her cheeks. "Just one more week of school and it will be summer vacation." Sydney grinned and folded her arms behind her head. Thick curling strands of sandy blonde hair covered her pillow. Her mother gently tapped the end of the little girl's lightly freckled nose.

"Sleep tight, sweetie," she said as she stood up. Her mom switched off the bedside lamp and left the room. Sydney rolled over to her side and pulled the quilt over her shoulder. She closed her eyes and drifted off into a peaceful slumber.


	3. Chapter 3

Abby walked out of the ER ambulance bay with Chuny and Inez. They were laughing and talking about their day as they headed toward the EL platform when she noticed him out of the corner of her eye. Abby stopped in her tracks and started to call that they would wait for him when the familiar figure in the dark coat turned in the other direction. She watched him retreat down the sidewalk and then turned back to her friends. They were waiting at the bottom of the stairs for her.

"Uh…I think I'm going to get something for dinner from Ike's after all," Abby said. Chuny's smile widened as she nodded in the direction of Luka's retreating figure.

"Sure, Abby," she drawled. Abby chuckled and threw her hand back as they laughed at her. She grinned and hurried off after Luka.

He was striding along the street with a vengeance. She was double stepping as she tried to keep up with him. He passed Ike's. Passed several other places she knew he liked to frequent. . Weird. Where was he going? It was almost as if he really didn't have a destination. He was just walking off some frustration maybe? She couldn't blame him. Maybe she should just leave him alone after all. She stopped for a minute and adjusted her bag on her shoulder and thought for a second. She had to almost run to catch up with him again.

His pace slowed somewhat as he reached the entrance to Grant Park. She was sorely out of breath and had to stop. The park was busy with families and runners. It was a typical late summer evening. She looked up and panicked when she realized she couldn't see him. Ah…there he was. He had taken his jacket off and was rolling up the sleeves to his blue shirt. He hooked the jacket on one finger over her shoulder and kept walking. She watched as he meandered past baseball fields and the playgrounds. He stopped to watch the activity in the sandbox area and then found his way to one of the benches that overlooked Lake Michigan. She watched as he sat down and stared out at the water for a minute and then buried his face in his hands as he rested his elbows on his knees.

Abby watched him sadly for a moment and debated what to do. It seemed like such a private moment and she didn't feel right infringing on it. Obviously the events of the day had really affected him. Events of the day? Events of the past several days. But today had been the worst. She took a deep breath and carried her aching feet forward toward the bench.

"Hey…" she said softly when she was standing next to him. Luka looked up with a start and smiled when he saw her.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. Abby eased herself onto the bench beside him and lifted her foot to her knee. She debating taking her shoe off but then realized that if her foot swelled she might not get it back on again. She loosened the leather laces instead. Luka watched her set her foot down and then lift the other one to her knee. He grinned and loosened the laces for her.

"You didn't follow me all the way here from the hospital, did you?" he asked.

"Of course not," she insisted. "I always walk…what? ….twenty blocks after a 12 hour shift." Luka chuckled again and relaxed against the back of the park bench. He gazed out at the water and then glanced over at her. His smile widened and he reached over to pick up one of her hands in his. Their eyes met and he shook his head. They sat in silence for a moment and then she sighed.

"I'm sorry about Blair, Luka," she said quietly. The smile on his face faded and he shrugged.

"Maybe she is better off," he said. "Too much had happened. She'd lost too much." Abby nodded slowly and they gazed out at the white capped waves together. They were lost in thought of the coma patient that had been dumped in the ER, reawakened and then lost to a coma again.

"I took her up to the roof," he said finally. "We talked. She asked me if I missed Croatia." Abby frowned slightly and then looked at him.

"What did you tell her?" she asked.

"That I had family there and I miss them," he said without taking his eyes off the water. "But I like Chicago. There are more opportunities for me here. I think…." His hand grasped her fingers a little more snugly. She studied his profile.

"Oh, guess what," she said brightly. "Lou came back." Luka turned to her with a frown.

"Who?" Abby scowled playfully.

"Lou….." she said again. "The rollerblader that came in with our BRACA lady? I think he's pretty serious about her. In spite of everything. That's nice…." Her voice trailed off and Luka sighed as he gazed at her. The sun was beginning to go down and the air was chilling.

"Want to get some dinner at the Navy Pier?" He tipped his head toward the huge complex in the distance. "My treat." Abby glanced forlornly toward the pier and then back to Luka.

"Can we take a cab?" she asked. Luka laughed and stood up.

"Abby," he chided her and pulled her to her feet. "It's only a couple of blocks."

"A cab, Luka," she said firmly. "See that nice yellow one over there? The third one in the line at the curb? It has our name on it. He is waiting for us." Luka laughed and continued to hold her hand as they headed up the sidewalk to the taxi cab stand. He shook his head and chuckled as she stepped gingerly beside him.

"Next time tell me you want to come with me and we'll take a cab," he said.

"Uh huh…." she muttered. "Yellow cab? Third in line? Has my name on it all right…." Luka laughed again and his arm snaked across her shoulders in support.

Red…she could see the red cloth upholstery in the back seat. Sydney squinted her eye and peered through the hole that had been cut in the car's trunk. It was scary in here. Dark…..even with the holes that had been drilled here and there to let in air and sunshine. The fumes from the car's exhaust stunk and there were spots on the trunk floor that were hot in spite of the thin foam mattress that covered the floor. She had stopped crying after the first time he had put her in there. No one would hear her anyway. She had a bottle of water….and a flashlight….and Coogy. Sydney's arms tightened around the stuffed dog. She had taken him with her when she'd gone to the bathroom at the campground. Her Mom had gone into town for groceries and her Dad had been busy building a campfire. The bath house was only a few lots away from their campsite. They thought she was old enough to go on her own. SHE thought she was old enough. And it happened so fast. She was locked in the trunk for two days. She had screamed and cried that time. No one came for her. She could feel the car moving. Could hear the traffic. In the end she had stopped crying and fallen asleep. She had no idea where they were. She had soiled herself by the time he had opened the trunk again. He had taken her to a motel room and given her clean clothes and let her take a bath. He'd given her some food. He had given her everything she needed and nothing that she had wanted. She wanted to go home. She wanted her own bed. She wanted her Mom and her Dad. Instead she was locked in the car trunk again. He usually put her there when they would be traveling through smaller towns. Or when he had to be at work at some temporary job. Once she had banged on the trunk's hood hoping someone would hear her. No one did. He parked the car too far away from anything. Besides, he told her no one was looking for her anyway. But if that was true, why did he put her in the trunk? Sydney closed her eyes and squeezed the stuffed animal in her arms. She would sleep. She would dream about being where she wanted to be. In her own bed. At home. With her Mom and Dad.


	4. Chapter 4

Red…..his face was red. Luka stared at his reflection in the mirror and shook his head. A chimp in the ER. How had Clemente pulled it off so easily? And how had Abby gotten involved? And Neela? Where was their usual good sense? He'd sat there and listened to all of their excuses and the run down of how it had happened. Through it all, Abby hadn't said a word. Just sat there and looked at him. With the tiniest hint of a smile on her lips. Like she was trying to contain something. He'd wanted to shake her. Absolutely shake her. Instead, he shook his head again and turned the water faucet on. He filled his cupped hands with cold water and rubbed it over his face. He hated disciplinary meetings. As an attending he had to be a part of it. As much as he disliked Eve there was nothing he could do about this one. They HAD endangered the patients and the staff. They had contaminated equipment that would have been needed by a patient. He'd had to side with the nurse manager from hell and that had made him even angrier. Luka placed his wet hands on the edges of the sink and leaned close to the mirror to study his reflection again. A week of unpaid suspension. He had drawn the line at the letter in their files. In truth, he was very worried about Abby. It hadn't been that long ago since he'd found her at the Lava Lounge. She'd been doing so well. Would this be another set back for her? Damn. Being short two interns was going to mean more hours for all of them for a while. He wasn't going to be able to keep an eye on her.

Blue? Abby studied the bottle of nail polish and glanced toward Neela who was happily applying red polish to her toe nails. They'd spent the first day of their suspension cleaning the apartment. Really cleaning it. God knows it had needed it. The second day they had pampered themselves with a nice long day shopping. They hadn't spent any money but it had been fun to just be able to look as long as they wanted. For the last two days they had put their time off to good use by reading and catching up on journal articles and procedure manuals. They'd gotten the giggles impulsively practicing suturing on the chicken they'd planned to have for dinner. After that there was no going back to anything serious. Which is why they were giving themselves a pedicure in front of the television set tonight. It was tuned to some mindless melodrama and neither of them were really paying attention. Neela glanced up and saw her studying the bottle of blue polish.

"Go on, Abby," she chided. "Walk on the wild side…. Try something other than pink or red."

"But blue?" Abby grimaced. "Eeeewwww."

"It's on your toes," Neela shrugged and bent back to removing the old polish from her own toe nails. "Who is going to see it there?"

Abby thought for a moment and then opened the bottle. That was pathetically true. There had been no one in a while. Not since Jake. And that was okay. She had too many other things to be concerned about. Work. She loved the work. Loved it. She had even loved the disciplinary meeting. It wasn't like it was the first one she had ever been a part of. She had reluctantly had to sit in on a few when she was nurse manager. One of them had even been about Luka's crappy ass attitude toward the nurses on staff during one dismal period in his life. She had barely been able to contain herself as she'd eyed his face during this meeting. He was SO hating Eve….and Clemente. And he was mad at her. Especially when she didn't even try to defend herself. But how could she? They were guilty as charged. They HAD secretly treated a monkey. No, a chimp. A baby one. And it was funny because she wasn't really sure when it ceased being an animal and just became…..a baby. Powerless and dependent on them to feel better. How could she explain that feeling? Hell, she had never felt it herself before. No. It had been better to just sit there and listen. Abby snickered to herself as she carefully applied polish to the nails on her toes.

"What's so funny?" Neela asked. Abby just shrugged and grinned.

"I was just picturing Luka's face at the disciplinary meeting again," she said. "I don't know what he was angriest about….what we did…or forcing him to have to side with Eve." Neela's eyes sparkled as she chuckled.

"Think he will forgive us?"

"He wouldn't let her put a letter in our file so I think it's a safe bet that he will." They exchanged smiles again and then bent back to their toes….and blue nail polish.

In another, smaller, town near by, Sydney hesitated and then slowly opened the bag that he had tossed onto the motel room bed. A pair of jeans and a shirt. A yellow night gown and a toothbrush. And a box of crayons. He was watching her as she fingered each of the items she had pulled from the bag. Waiting for some kind of sign from her that she liked what he'd gotten for her. She could never do that. She didn't want new clothes…..or crayons. She just wanted her Mom and Dad. And home. Vincent was smiling as he pulled a pack of Uno playing cards out of his shirt pocket.

"Play a game with me, Mezoti," he said. "You like to play games with me, don't you?" She looked at him with eyes totally devoid of expression. Mezoti. The name he had given her after they'd watched 'Voyager' on the grainy television in the motel. He told her that she was just like the little girls on the show…..nameless beings with no one to watch over them. That no one cared about. Except that she had him. He took care of her. Like the Borg. He would never leave her. Sometimes she felt like Mezoti. She wasn't sure who she was any more.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been a week. She was rested….and she was early for her shift. The midnight shift. Probably more 'punishment' for the chimp fiasco. Neela wasn't on again until the morning. Obviously the plan was to separate them for a while. But she didn't really mind, They had actually enjoyed their time off together. Hey managed to reconnect their friendship somewhat. She looked up at the nearly empty board and sighed.

"You're early," Luka said from behind her. Abby swung around and met his eyes with a big smile. He looked back down at the yellow papers on chart he was examining with a grim frown. Her smile faded. He signed the chart with a flourish and slipped it back in the chart rack.

"I am out of here…." he sighed. "Good night." She frowned and followed him around the admit desk and through the door to the quiet ambulance bay.

"Luka…" she said. He stopped and turned around.

"Pratt will be here soon, Abby," he said. "It's quiet….and I am killing on my feet."

"Dead….." she said softly. "Dead on your feet. Or…your feet are killing you?" He frowned impatiently at her attempt to be funny.

"Whatever…" he threw his hand up and started to walk away.

"Are you still pissed at me?" she asked. "I mean, it's been a week." He stopped again and turned around.

"I am tired," he said. "All of us had to take extra shifts in order to cover for you and Neela being gone, okay? Eve has been riding my ass. Clemente has been….." His voice trailed off and he shook his head.

"What were you thinking, Abby?" he scolded. "A monkey?"

"A chimp, actually," she said. There was something about the look in her eye…on her face. He shook his head and suppressed the smile that threatened to break his mood. He had missed seeing her.

"I don't know…." she went on as she glanced around uncomfortably. "The ambulance pulled up, doors opened and it was…..there."

"You took a risk…a stupid, stupid risk," he scolded. "You can't afford to do that when you are an intern. If I hadn't been there you'd both be out of the program."

"For treating a monkey?" she frowned.

"A chimp….." he said. "The danger to the other… real…. ER patients. The cost of cleaning the equipment alone would…."

"Okay…." Abby said with an indignant sigh. "I get it. I'm sorry. Thank you, Dr. Kovac." He watched as she turned back toward the ER. She was a good doctor, he would give her that. He always knew she would be. But that stubbornness….. It was something he both hated and enjoyed about her. He shook his head and walked wearily out of the ambulance bay toward the el station steps.

It was a quiet shift and she spent some of it trying to sleep in the call room. It bugged her. Seriously bugged her that he was still angry. She'd accepted the disciplinary action without argument. She'd sat at home for a week. She'd reconfigured her finances to deal with the loss of a paycheck. Abby rolled her eyes and tugged at the deep red sweater she wore under her lab coat and sighed. He was right. Maybe that's why it bugged her. She pulled a patient chart from the rack and sighed again. Still early but she might as well get busy. It would feel good to be back in the game again.

Her fingers twisted in the folds of the blue blanket and she squeezed her eyes tight to stop the tears from slipping down the sides of her face. He was angry when she cried. It hurt but that didn't stop him. It always hurt. Sometimes she found a little blood in her underpants after but she never said anything. It scared her. He said that he loved her. He said that he would always be there to take care of her. Said she needed to do something for him in payment for that. That was the reason for the 'married game.'


	6. Chapter 6

Something was wrong. She could see it in his eyes as he glanced from one corner of the restaurant to another. He was shifting uncomfortably as she picked up a blue crayon and continued to color her placemat. She'd shaken her head when he told her to eat some more of her waffles. She couldn't. Her stomach hurt. And then they were moving. Grab your coat, he'd said. Then they were leaving…..going through the kitchen to the back door. Once they were outside Vincent swept her up in his arms when the police cars careened into to the parking lot. She didn't know what was happening. Guns were being fired and then they fell. She couldn't breathe. Vincent was still. She looked down and saw it. A bright red spot spreading on a circle on her sweater. There was more red blood spreading on the pavement beneath her. She couldn't move away from it. She couldn't breathe. Then she was surrounded by police officers and paramedics. Vincent wasn't moving. Her tummy hurt. It hurt to breathe.

She had heard the rumors. He was certainly posturing like someone who was ready to take over. Abby just shook her head and watched Clemente mediate the stupid little meeting at the triage desk. What was it about stuff like this that took her right back to high school? She scribbled a rude and crude message on the new communication board being demonstrated and held it up behind Clemente's head. Ray caught it and snickered. Clemente turned around and she had hidden her message and smiled innocently. So very juvenile. And then there was Jerry being used to demonstrate the new restraints. Huge, violence abhorring Jerry in restraints. What a laugh. She was almost disappointed when Luka strode past announcing the eminent arrival of multiple gun shot patients. What else would the incomparable 'Eve and Clemente Show' have to offer? But he'd tossed her a look and told her to come with him. Obediently, she had followed him to the ambulance bay and caught the gloves he had tossed her.

"You missed show and tell," she said as she straightened her blue scrub top. "Eve and Clemente are making some changes." Luka had barely answered as his thoughts were apparently focused on the incoming patients. "Is this a gang shooting?" He shook his head.

"A father used his daughter as a human shield" he said grimly.

"Oh….lovely," she sighed as she snapped on the gloves. "Is it true that Clemente is up for ER Chief?" That got his attention. He looked sharply at her. Abby shrugged.

"Well, that's what I heard….." Luka shook his head.

"The same guy that got you suspended for working on a monkey?" An ambulance careened into the bay leaving room for more.

"It was a chimp," she corrected him. Luka shook his head as he strode toward the ambulance.

"Well, let him turn the waiting room into a petting zoo," he grumbled. "I don't care." The doors of the ambulance opened and a gurney was shoved out. Abby's attention was riveted on the face of a little girl strapped to the stretcher. Mezoti? Kidnap victim. Vincent. Father. Dead…no. Coming in another bus. She followed the gurney into the ER as Luka stayed back to take the patient from another ambulance, talking and reassuring the little girl strapped to the backboard. She was so still. She complained that she was hurting. They pushed her stretcher into a trauma room. Abby stayed calm and talked quietly as she did an assessment of the little girl's injuries. A police officer eased his way into the room.

"Name's Sydney Carlyle," he said quietly as he skimmed the yellow chart in his hands. "She was kidnapped from a campground in upstate New York last August. You'll have to do a rape exam." Something clutched Abby's heart as she moved to be in the little girl's line of sight.

"Is your real name Sydney?" she asked quietly. "It's okay. You can tell me." The little girl's eyes met her own and she swallowed fearfully.

"Yes," she said slowly in a voice that was almost inaudible.

The next hours passed with agonizing slowness and a horrible urgency. Chest tubes. Talking on the phone with her distraught and jubilant parents. Falling stats. Intubation. Abby found herself caught in a tug of war between attendings over treatment for a little girl that just wanted to go home. Kovac was her attending of choice but Clemente the attending of proximity. She desperately wanted to contradict his order to treat the pneumothorax conservatively. She knew 'cutting edge' wasn't always best. In the end she had been right. Luka had been right. And Sydney had died.

Eve was right to call the stupid staff meeting. Everyone had been affected by the triple trauma they had treated. No one had shown up though. Just Eve, Clemente and her. A young police officer was not going to lose his arm. A pedophile had made it precariously through surgery and was under guard in the ICU. And Sydney had died.

Abby had sewn up the incisions in her chest, tucked the stuffed dog the police officer brought from the scene under her arm and waited for her parents to arrive. That was the hardest thing. To be there when they came….expecting to find her safe again….and alive. Her heart had broken as she watched them cling to one another and after answering their questions, she left.

Abby's thoughts were all in a jumble when she was finally able to leave the ER. Her feet were taking her no where in general. She'd ridden on the El forever. She didn't know just where to go. She didn't want to go home. She didn't know what she was supposed to be feeling. She was just a resident and yet she had known they were on the wrong path for treating that little girl. Why hadn't she been able to stop it? Why hadn't she stood up for what was best for her patient? Why? They had used her. Used her as a catalyst for this….this… competition…. they had going with one another. By the time she reached the stoop of Luka's building she had gone from feeling sad to being frustrated to being flipping angry. She'd punched the buttons on the elevator lift so hard that she had very nearly jammed her finger. And then he didn't answer the door. Not at first. She had turned to leave when the door opened and he held it for her. She didn't notice that he had cleaned everything in the apartment up. Not right away. She was seething. He offered to warm up some pizza for her but she was too angry. She had expected him to argue with her. He'd started to but in the end he stopped. He knew she was right. He just stood there and listened. Listened as she had raged about Sydney….about anger and frustration…..and she just stood there feeling this unbearable sadness. And then he had moved toward her. He had taken her face in his hands and he had kissed her.


	7. Chapter 7

Her brown eyes met his and she was confused for a second. Had he really done that? Had he kissed her? Really? Their faces were just inches apart and a slight smile teased the corners of his lips. He leaned his face toward her's again. This time she met him half way. Her hands slipped under his arms and her fingers splayed across the back of his shoulders as she held him close to her. His fingers framed her face and slipped into the soft strands of hair that threatened to get in the way of his kisses. It had been too long. Way too long for the two of them. How long though? How long since that night on the street when they had said such horrible things to one another? Four years? Five? Life times had transpired since that night. People had woven in and out of their reality. People that seemed just to be shadows of what they could feel for one another. Carter. Nicole. Jake. Gillian. Sam and Alex. And then he'd almost died in the Congo. Had she been on his mind then? Certainly….in some way. Saying good bye to her when he'd left was one of the hardest things he had ever done. She was a doctor now and he was immensely proud of that fact. She was well on her way to becoming a confident and creative physician. Something she was meant to be. He'd always known that. Just as he had always known that she was meant to be his.

How had he ever thought that Sam and Alex could give him what he had tossed away so carelessly with her? No…don't think about them now. Can't think about them. Nothing else in the world exists at this moment. Nothing but this woman finally back in his arms. Nothing…..

It felt wonderful to be held this way by him again. His warmth and his smell were an intoxicating blend to her befuddled and exhausted brain and body. What in the hell was she doing? This wasn't sensible. It was insane. This was beyond insanity. But this was Luka. Her mouth opened to his and suddenly she wasn't thinking any more. It was impossible to think. His hands had slipped the jacket from her shoulders and were caressing and massaging the tense back and neck muscles that found his firm touch so very welcoming. They were moving toward his stairs but neither of them had any desire to break the kiss that held them together. She suppressed a soft laugh as he stumbled on the first steps and then sighed. They parted reluctantly and he held her hand tightly in his as he drew her quickly up the stairs. There he pulled her roughly back against him as they stood against the door frame leading to his bedroom. Their fingers twisted in agonizing frustration as they fumbled with one another's buttons and buckles…shedding clothing pieces quickly as they made their way to his bed.

The soft sparse mat of hair on his chest felt so wonderful and familiar. His impatient hands were everywhere and she murmured encouragement as his fingers deftly unfastened her bra and the slip of satin material was whipped away from between them. That was better. Much better. How long had it been? Four years? Five? A long time since they had said such ugly things to one another that night in the street. How could he have remembered? Every touch….every movement was familiar, fluid and urgent. He'd remembered everything. Not one of the sensuous spots they had explored together a life time ago was left untouched. She thought she was going to die with excitement and pleasure. She wrapped her arms around his neck and groaned into his ear. Things that she knew he liked to hear.

"Oh my god but I have missed you….." she cried huskily at last. She thought she heard a soft laugh in response. She opened her eyes, knowing that his would be open as well. Of course they were. He always watched her when they made love. Their eyes met and she saw that his were moist and then crinkled with laughter.

"You're beautiful," he sighed. She nodded slightly and closed her eyes again, losing herself in the feelings he was giving her. And then – at last - there was an explosion of color behind her eyes….in her head…and in her heart.

Red….and yellow and blue.

Primary colors.


End file.
